Injury Binge: The Hurt Locker Edition

A quick rundown of league injuries...painstakingly Oscar themed.

JASON TERRY, INJURY BINGE RATING: AN EDUCATION
For reasons beyond comprehension Terry was left on the court during a 20 point rout of the T'Wolves and with four minutes left sustained an orbital fracture that should keep him out for the next 10-14 days. Dear Rick Carlisle, when you're up by 20 late in the 4th bring in the deeeeeep reserves for god's sake!! Your killing my fantasy team!!

RODNEY STUCKEY, INJURY BINGE RATING: THE BLIND SIDE
If you were watching the Pistons/Cavs game like I was you saw a pretty haunting scene. Anytime a basketball player collapses on court it conjures up imagery of Len Bias and Hank Gathers. Stuckey has been the only consistent developing contributor on a confused Pistons team bizarrely ravaged by both inexperience and old age simultaneously. Stuckey was released from the hospital earlier today and appears to have cleared all initial medical tests. Our best to him and his family. Come back soon.

TONY PARKER, INJURY BINGE RATING: UP IN THE AIR
Unfortunately for Parker and the rest of the tread-water Spurs it looks like the bone he broke during a scrap for the ball versus Memphis was in fact in his right hand. Parker without his shooting hand isn't much use to a team in desperate need of firepower. It looks like he'll be out around 6 weeks. And even if he can return will their be any games left to play for a Spurs team destined to face either Dallas or L.A. in the first round?

JOAKIM NOAH, INJURY BINGE RATING: A SERIOUS MAN
Dude wants to play... he reeeeally wants to play. But plantar fasciitis is no joke, see: Yao Ming and Zydrunas Ilgauskus' nasty bouts with the chronic and painful ailment. If anything heals heels it's time, but between Chicago trying to both hold off the Bobcats, and make a move on Miami's 7th seed I suspect we might see Noah prematurely rushed back to the court. Not smart in the long run... as longstanding cases of plantar fasciitis can often become increasingly degenerative and inflammatory. But what can you do when the biggest cheerleader of this plan is most likely Noah himself! Shut him down and keep working on the development of Taj Gibson who could greatly benefit from extended playing time and a veteran mentor in Brad Miller.

KENYON MARTIN, INJURY BINGE RATING: PRECIOUS
Martin has a partial tear of his left patella tendon and surgery is among the treatment options being considered. With Denver's fragile championship ecosystem in jeopardy, the loss of K-Mart would be a huge blow to the Nuggets hopes for a deep playoff run this year.

CHRIS PAUL, INJURY BINGE RATING: AVATAR
He's almost back on the court and who can't use an MVP caliber point gaurd, but who saw Darren Collison coming?! The rookie PG who over the last month has averaged 22.1 points on 55% shooting, shot 88% from the stripe, and averaged over 8 assists and 2 steals per game is playing like a man possessed, or perhaps controlled remotely by the mind of a crippled teamate in hopes of infiltrating a mysterious and noble culture from within?!

THE ENTIRE ROSTER OF THE GOLDEN STATE WARRIORS, INJURY BINGE RATING: INGLORIOUS BASTERDS

Golden State is dealing with a roster featuring 8 injured players...RIDICULOUS!!

03/05/2010 Monta Ellis (G) Back (Day-to-Day)
03/01/2010 Andris Biedrins (C) Groin (Day-to-Day)
02/27/2010 Raja Bell (G) Wrist (Out Indefinitely)
02/07/2010 Vladimir Radmanovic (C) Achilles (Out Indefinitely)
02/05/2010 Anthony Randolph (F) Ankle (Mid-March)
12/16/2009 Mikki Moore (F) Heel (Out Indefinitely)
11/17/2009 Kelenna Azubuike (G) Knee (Out for the Season)
10/15/2009 Brandan Wright (F) Shoulder (Mid-March)

Although they might not have been able to handle killing Hitler, their is no doubt in my mind that the Warriors All-Injured team could easily handle the Nets, the Timberwolves, and most likely Golden State's own active roster. Because the Warriors my friends, are f****** terrible.

BONUS: Topical former Oscar Nods