Spinning in nightclubs is fun but tough. Tapping into the collective conscience of a room full of strangers and making them loose their shit is no easy task.  But I'm sure 90 percent of BPM readers already know this.  However for the remaining 10 percent here are a few things you should know.

Most DJ's Hate requests.  Requests have nothing to do with music.  They are simply an attempt to assert control over a social situation. You wouldn't tell the surgeon performing the operation on you when or how to use what tool. That's because you trust that he or she has dedicated countless hours amassing knowledge on how to perform complex and delicate procedures.  Otherwise, you wouldn't be on their operating table.  A nightclub DJ is no different. Good disc jockeys have dedicated a good portion of their lives amassing music and figuring out how to put it together in a creative and engaging manner that will keep you entertained.  So don't be "that asshole" that repeatedly asks for some song you heard 8 times on the radio in your car on the way to the club.  Trust the DJ.  Relax and enjoy the party.  Besides, if the song is really that hot chances are its going to be played at some point over the course of the evening anyway.

Look but don't touch.  Nothing is guaranteed to get you kicked out of a club faster than touching the DJ excessively or touching the equipment.  Depending on the dj you might even end up getting your ass kicked.  Standing by the booth and pretending to scratch or "air djing" is not funny or flattering.  In fact its downright annoying and and in some cases distracting.  Hugs and handshakes are good but save them for after the set.  No one wants to mess up a good mix because they were to busy giving out pounds and excessive handshakes. So don't be surprised or offended if you get blown off. chances are its simply because the DJ did not have a free hand available.  If this happens DO NOT tap the dj on the shoulder feverishly over and over again while saying "excuse me, excuse me" unless you want to get your head chewed off.

4 Things you should never say, why, and the appropriate response.

1."Its my birthday (usually followed by a list of demands)"
why: Unless your actually throwing the party, having a birthday does not give you the cart blanche to tell a few hundred people in a club what to listen to and when to listen to it.  Unless you're actually throwing the party. You are not the only person in the room so be considerate.
appropriate response: "So?"

2 "Can you play something I can dance to?"
why: If you cant dance that's your own damn fault.  You're going to have to take it up with your parents for raising you with no rhythm.
appropriate response: "No I'm sorry there is no hope for you now step off"

3 "What else do you have?"
Well you're the one who chose to come to this club so this is one of the most retarded questions you could possibly ask.  You should have some general idea what the dj does.  Be aware of what your getting into when you go to a club.  Don't just show up because you and the rest of your drunk bachlorette party saw a long line outside so you assumed it would be the standard top 40 jump off.
appropriate response: "I have a headache from annoying people harassing me. Now step off!"

4."When are you going to play my song?"
I hate to smash your dreams, but when an artist writes a popular song it is usually intended for everyone not just you.  Which brings me back to my earlier point; You're not the only person in the room.  This is not your personal forum to decide when and how the vibe gets set that's what the Dj gets paid to do.
appropriate response: "Do I come to your job and tell you when to flip the burgers? Now step the fuck off!"

Now I can't speak for every dj but I think its safe to say it all comes down to this Use Common Sense.  If you feel the need to approach a dj while he or she is working try not to be an inconsiderate douche bag.  Avoid all the aforementioned annoyances, come prepared to dance and I think were all going to get along just fine!

holler at me.

dj major taylor is one of chicago's premiere djs.  he can be found at myspace.com/djmajortaylor